Literate Surfer Seeking Spunky Students

My name is Mrs. S. and I can't wait to get to know all of you better. I’m writing to model the business letter format to my students, but – more importantly – to tell you a little about myself. It’s important to me that you know I am a human being with passions, goals and feelings, more than just the person designing the lessons we follow. That said, I’m sure you’ll notice my love for English as you read.

Beyond the walls of West, I am first and foremost a wife. My husband, Stanley, is my best friend. We are happiest together and even happier if we are risking our necks at some extreme sport. When we first met he taught me how to ride a mountain bike and I taught him how to swim. I know, that doesn’t seem very balanced, but now that he’s such a strong swimmer, we’ve been learning to surf together.

We spend the winter months on the slopes at Buffalo Ski Club where I’m a patroller. All that activity gives me a good appetite. I like to cook, especially when I can use all the fresh veggies from my garden.

I like to think that my diverse interests reflect my teaching style. I think beyond the walls of the classroom. Sure, we’ll read books and write papers, but we’ll also use social networks to communicate with each other. We’ll spend a lot of time talking too, and you’ll get a lot of time to work on assignments during class. I think you’ll find that I have high expectations, but they are reasonable and fair. I work hard and I ask that you work hard in return. I am your English teacher, but I want you to know that English encompasses more than just reading, writing, listening and speaking. The study of English is about understanding our lives and our place in the world.

My own quest for answers led me to the English department at the University at Buffalo as an undergraduate. Reading gives me a glimpse into other worlds. While I spend a lot of time outdoors, I also cherish sitting down with a good book. I’ve started reading more nonfiction than I did when I was your age, but regardless of genre, it’s all about the story. I have a difficult time naming a favorite book, but I recently finished Spartina by John Casey and it evokes the life of an Atlantic fisherman so beautifully that I’m tempted to hop in my car and head for the New England coastline to set a few lobster pots. If you want to get me off task, all it takes is a good story. Seriously.

Spartina by John Casey

I’m a writer too. I’m most comfortable when analyzing something or constructing an argument, but if the moment requires it, I compose a poem to capture it. My writing also encompasses some of my professional goals. I strive to be an exemplary teacher, always reworking lessons and assignments in order to teach my students more effectively. I share what I write too. I’ve presented on numerous occasions at the state conference for English teachers and over this past summer I developed curriculum for Random House. In short, I practice what I teach.

I hope that as we get to know one another this year, you will find that your passions and English class are not mutually exclusive. I also hope your junior year is filled with learning and fun. 

Face[booking] The Truth

Dear FB,

Remember 2009? Me either, but that's when we met. Back then, you were still a big deal, but no one was comparing you to the population of whole countries yet. And me? Let's face it, I was just another notch in your belt, another image on the screen. You were ambitious. I was young and impressionable. I'm surprised we made it this far, but we had a good thing going.

Things were so confusing at first. For starters, there was the agony of friends. Who knew such a natural relationship could cause such anxiety. Questions popped into my head as quickly as the requests on screen: Are we friends? Who should I friend? Is it freaky to look for friends? Sure, I knew so-and-so in high school, but does that make us friends? What if I ignore her? What kind of person does that make me?

We persevered, however, and my friending policy emerged from the maelstrom: from this day forward I accept any and all friend requests. Except for loser ex-boyfriends. And self-important jerks. And high school students.

Quickly on the heels of the to friend or not to friend conundrum came the digital image dilemma. The fine line between I'm just casually tossing up these vacation pics to share with my friends and yes, I can still fit in my high school jeans never seemed more elusive. I debated internally for hours since everyone knows that poise and a graceful acceptance of oneself require a precise balance of self-adulation and self-immolation through online images. Duh. In the end, I resolved the conflict by posting pics of everyone but myself, with the occasional exception. After all, in a relationship a little mystery goes a long way.

Dating always involves rules: our relationship was no different. I like to think of all those little boxes I checked as our prenup. We'd always be faithful to one another and respect the boundaries of our relationship. But you were never one for the status quo. Like a die-hard devotee of the New York fashion scene, your look changed with season. And those little boxes I checked to make sure our relationship stayed exclusive? I couldn't even find them sometimes. I confess there were times I had to seek professional help to decipher what you were saying to me.

You never wavered, however. It was your way or the highway. The times they were a changing and if our relationship were to continue it meant compromise. My compromise. So I embraced change. Read technical articles, consulted gurus, kept security tight, posted more vacation pics, grew a little lax when it came to celebrating birthdays. You didn't seem to notice.

It was damn near impossible to miss that giant insurance ad on our front porch though. Whatever happened to the suggestions tastefully located on the edges of our property? Weren't they sufficient? I notice that you made the most of the side entrance too: the shopping links populating my feed on my phone app will come in handy when I'm trying to coordinate plans for the weekend with my friends since that's always the best time to check out the sales at Kohl's.

But no matter, ours has always been a one-sided conversation. I get it. It's how you are. Should you change your ways, you can find me by answering this one little question:

Compose Tweet?

Writing well is the best revenge

"Looking good is the best revenge" is rumored to be Ivana Trump's comment in response to her divorce from Donald Trump. I think we can say with some certainty that she has got him in that category, especially when it comes to hair, but you can decide that for yourself.

She also said, "don't get mad, get everything,"  and then promptly walked away with a very large divorce settlement so she seems to have this whole revenge thing down. 

If you are feeling like you would like to take revenge upon yours truly for all the writing we have been doing in English, perhaps blogging well is your best tactic. Since I did not have the opportunity to put together my own post, I figured I would sing your praises after the fact. Thanks to your great writing, that turned out to be quite a (happy) chore.

In honor of the upcoming Oscar's, I will be "awarding" kudos to students in various categories. If you are wondering what strong "voice" or "fluency" looks like, take a look at the links posted below.

Best original ideas

Likewise, Jack's blog "To Plot Revenge" is the complete package, interesting to look at, unique, full of asides that let me know he's completely self-aware, and sounding like no one else on the planet but himself.

In this original post about music, Hannah lets the songwriters' ideas take center stage. The organizational pattern of her blog also makes it easy to follow. 

Alex D chose to write an original post about revenge in literature.

Best voice

When Alex W writes, he sounds like ... Alex. This is a good thing when writing blogs, because it establishes a link between the writer and the reader. His post about vengeance is also full of original ideas.

Also a mistress of comedy, Chynna's voice stands out because it's completely unique. She's not afraid to take risks and in doing so let's the reader "in" to her writing.

Kristi has voice figured out too. Her blog is a deft blend of information, analysis and pure Kristi.

Best analysis

Haley found just the right balance between information and analysis of song lyrics. She is so persuasive that I'm inclined to agree: if Hamlet had been in possession of a good playlist, a whole lot of tragedy might have been averted. 

Isabella, too, knows how to make the most of her ideas. Her post makes for thought-provoking reading because it is filled with deep thinking about Quentin Tarantino's particular brand of revenge.

For her analysis of Spider Man, Taylor S gets an honorable mention in this category.

Best transitions

Quinn moves her reader from one subject to the next without seeming to break a sweat in her blog about Taylor Swift, no easy feat given how tricky these sentences can be.

Best fluency

How is it that some writers have a knack for grabbing your attention even when you aren't that interested in the topic? (Sorry, Taylor Swift fans, she just ain't my thing.) Arianna knows the secret of fluent writing. She grabs the reader's attention with a good lead and then keeps that focus making the subject interesting with her diction even making up her own words when the one million or so attributed to the English language fail her.

Krystin's writing isn't too shabby in this category either. Notice how she checks in with her reader every once in a while? She capitalizes on the flexibility of the genre, mixing information, analysis, and her own two cents in such a way that her reader never loses interest in what she's saying.

Best overall

Megan M's writing has got it all. Her blog, "Seeking Revenge," is visually appealing, full of original ideas, sounds just like her and reflects a deep analysis of her subject. 

Abby too, stakes her claim as a writer who knows her way around a blog in her blog, "Sweet Revenge." She finds the perfect balance between information and explanation, and employs a personal connection -- making it easy to connect to her!

Best title (our focus next time)


Ahead of the curve, Caitlin took the time to dream up a totally unique title ("Pretty Little Revenge Seekers") so her readers wouldn't have to choose between Revenge, Revenge and Revenge.

My sources:

Ivana Trump quotes

Image of Ivana Trump

Image of Donald Trump

And, of course, all of your blogs!

Satire with the Skotnickis

Satire in my life? Nah, that's not my style. 

Except that I'm wrong, which, as my husband surely would say, never happens. (You can almost hear the sarcasm, right?) 

Turns out my life is full of satire. I don't know enough about this country's political pundits to lambaste them as Jon Stewart does in this satire about satire, but after fifteen years of marriage, I know my husband pretty well and let's just say that he's an easy target. (Notice how I'm leaving myself out of that equation? Momma didn't raise no dummy.) 

Here's a fairly typical example: My husband, Stanley, doesn't spend his loose change so it winds up in his pockets. If he makes it home before I do, it doesn't take much for me to trace his activities through the house. All I need to do is follow the little piles of loose change that have fallen out of his pocket. Drove home from work? Yep, there's a nickel the driver's seat in the car. Chilled out on the couch? Oh yeah, one quarter and two dimes sliding between the cushions. Changed into more comfortable clothes? There's a telltale pile of nickels and pennies on the top of the dresser. Forgot to check the other pocket? Without fail and that's the change I find at the bottom of our washing machine. Needless to say, if I didn't spend a little time picking up all his loose change, our house would have filled up like a little piggy bank years ago. 

After fifteen years of marriage, these things start to become a little... tedious. Now when I find a dime in the washing machine, or on the floor next to the washing machine, or on top of the washing machine, or in the dryer, I make sure to share my euphoria (notice the sarcasm) with Stan. Our exchange usually goes something like this (except it's usually dorkier): 

Me: Honey, the washing machine is producing dimes again.

Stan: Already.

Me: I know, imagine my surprise.

Stan: Wow. We're really getting our money's worth out of that appliance.

Me: Yeah, and here I thought money didn't grow on washing machines. 

Who among us likes to hear criticism about our habits? Right, millions of us. (Sarcasm, again.) And how much fun would I be as a wife if I nagged my husband day and night about everything little thing he did wrong? He's such a generous guy that I'd probably get sick of myself before he would, but my point is that I can get my message across and get him to laugh at the same time by utilizing satire. He gets a reminder to check his pockets for change (since we once paid a $400 repair bill to fix our washing machine after a dime worked its way into the cogs and wheels and wreaked all sorts of havoc internally) and I don't sound like the Wicked Witch of West. Win-win.

Twain does much the same thing in The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, only he takes on social issues of much bigger magnitude. Even so, Twain and I are in exactly the same spot. We need to say something and we need to say it in a way that doesn't alienate our audience. I love my husband. He's an awesome guy. I don't want him to think any less of himself because he forgot to check his pockets for change, again. Likewise, Twain knows that he'll never win the ear of the South when it comes to the topic of slavery unless he treats them with a little respect (regardless of whether they deserve it). By telling a funny tale, Twain gets to shine a spotlight on some reprehensible human behavior that packs a pretty big punch in terms of a moral. And because no one is waving a pointy finger in their faces, there's a chance that his message about racism just might hit home with its intended audience.

My sources: 

Satire comes in many guises including sarcasm, ridicule, irony, and parody. I tried to incorporate a couple into my blog post. You'd have to be blind to have missed my many sarcastic comments. (Wow. I can't stop.) And, obviously, my mini-drama illustrated the satire that one might find in literature. 

I couldn't find a way to smoothly incorporate a parody, but here's a YouTube video that brilliantly parodies Apple's iPhone ads:

There was no way was I going to ridicule any of my readers for their ineptitude, but if you want to learn a little bit more about this genre you can read about it here.